Napoleon: 'Cause I outrank you,that's why. Mama, I'm afraid! "Moe, Larry, the cheese!" And what they do is they get on a pile of dead dungs and they f*** each other and then they have a big closing where they fist-f*** an autistic preteen. Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? Alright? Berlioz: Just a nickname I gave you, "Roque-fort"? Whew! Birds of a feathermust [ Hic ] together. Something smells awfully good. Why, oh, why, is he allowing this to happen!" Groove it, cat! There's always something new and emotional from Disney. On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. My umbrella! I'll see ya down stream. He rips off his wife's bra. [Laughing]Aren't you proud of me? O'Malley: [ Chuckles ]Keep your whiskers up, Toulouse Ol'Tiger. The 100 Best Albums of 2022, But thats a whole other story, he deadpanned. Jillette and Provenza tell dirty jokes. Children, where are you? South Park - The Aristocrats Joke. That'spretty corny, though, huh? Genghis Kahn, for god sakes. This joke may contain profanity. Amelia: No! Now what's the hang-up,your ladyship? You are a great talent. You know Edgaris so fond of all of usand takesvery good care of us. The aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. I just love them. Something horrible is happening. Quick, kittens! Big Man O'Malleyis back in his alley. I'm outta here! Napoleon: No, no. Roquefort: Oh, please! O'Malley runs and Edgar chases him. Oh, l, I mean,even little Marie. Mark Elliott: With the click of the mouse, you bring the story to life! [6] It came to wider public attention when it was told by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner. Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, my, my dear. Nice goin; Toulouse. The Aristocats! Mark Elliott: "Muppet Treasure Island". Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Release date The Muppets are hitting the high seas Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video presents from Jim Henson Productions Mark Elliott: And the rowdiest crew ever. It slides out of the stable as a truck pulls up]. Now, run along downstairs. Wish me luck. Roquefort:Don't worry about me! But I don't remember what was so "bad." All: [offscreen]Everybody(2x)Everybodywants to be-A Lafayette:Hey, Napoleon,that sounds like the end. Berlioz: It isn't Beethoven, Mama,but it sure bounces. Get out! O'Malley: Well, uh, you seeI-l'm not exactlyher husband. Girl: And then the raccoons ate our food and they all had poison ivy. A family walks in to a talent agency. Possibly a reprobate. Go get him! After the punchline, Kyle says he doesn't get the joke, to which Cartman responds, "Neither do I.". Mark Elliott: Discovering the magic [Esmeralda disappears in a cloud of smoke after blowing her nose] .within himself. Georges Hautecourt: You haven't got an extra foot,have you, Edgar? As with any other aristocrats video, this one also contains incredibly nasty profanity. O'Malley: Well, some humansare like that, Duchess. They've got a paper route, they go to school and then you f*** 'em. Let them in! Duchess: Oh! Now, Toulouse, you goand start on with your painting. Oh, no! Lafayette:Okay,man, let's charge. When they're seenupon an airing. Georges Hautecourt: Evening. I've just gotto find them. So dysfunctional, it defies description. We British liketo keep things proper. But I was so surethat I heard them. Now I'll never get my hat Plan B. Napoleon: Ooh, whoo, heh. A little lowerand faster there, buddy. The male gamete, or sperm, and the female gamete, the egg or ovum, meet in the female's reproductive system. Which pets get to sleepon velvet mats? A man goes into a bar and says to the owner. Lil' Rush Last oneup the stairs is a nincompoop. Thieves! Oh, my gracious! Send us a tip using our anonymous form. Duchess: Now, Berlioz. Toulouse: I'll show him. The projectile sh*t is just flying out of him it's going all over the room it's like spin art. The These pesky pets of mine will never come back. I'm the one that sayswhen we go. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Careful, Toulouse! [Snarling, Hissing, Spitting ]. Toulouse: Is there anything we can do tohelp you,Mr. O'Malley, huh? Sue Kolinsky: Once for Hannukah he gave me a box of slim Tampax, and he says, "Leave them out so men will think you're really tight.". a one-wheeled haystack. She plays Chopin's third movement, in B minor. And certainly no one can do this betterthan my faithful servant, Edgar. [offscreen]Swing on down here, Daddy. A very enthusiastic--. [A cat drops a bale of hay onto Edgar. I've made the headlines." Lewis Black: That's, that's actually, a really great idea to pitch to a network. Choo-choo-choo-choo,choo-choo-choo-choo. Toulouse: Hey, guys. But it's really nice to have introductions. And this time, ha,you'll never come back. Darlings,now you just stay here,and I'll go and I'lllook for Toulouse. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips of "Aladdin" and "Aladdin 2" are shown]. Every member of the family, including the dog, violates one another orally, digitally, and genitally. You've just rescued Thomas, right? Those cats have got to go! [Screaming][Coughing]. [We see early pencil animations for the song, "Welcome to the Forty Thieves"]. [offscreen] Maybe we'd betterfind another place, huh? Marie: I'll show youif I'm a lady or not. Come here, my darlings. Amelia: And he's going about itall the wrong way. Voice-over: Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Where did the blood come from? Duchess: Yes. The cat runs to the stable door and locks it. [After the green FBI warnings, the Walt Disney Pictures logo appears, but silent clips of Disney movies and some of the Disneyland presentations are shown]. Scat Cat tosses a bucket of water over Edgar's head. Stocks and bonds? The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Hiya, chicks. [The claw grabs an alien and drops him down the hole, but we cut to Buzz Lightyear dancing past the Christmas tree] And plenty of surprises to discover. WebThe Aristocrats "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. The father bends the kid over the guy's desk and starts taking him from behind, which isn't right. sporkythespaz. Winnie the Pooh! Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video invites you back into the world where toys come to life. O'Malley: Uh-huh, yeah. The garbage canswhere common kitties play. That'll be turning it on. [Footage of Thunder Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown] Now, here's a special messagefrom Walt Disney World. Frou-Frou grabs Edgar by the jacket. The cast (in order of appearance) opening song vocals maurice chevalier madame adelaide bonfamille. Roquefort:[ Muttering ]Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat!? Whee! Oh, thank goodness. That ain't. Amelia: It's scandalous. Short no. It's just beyondthat next chimney pot. Why, you won't believewhat they tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo! O'Malley: I'll bet they're onthat magic carpet right now. Whoo-whoo! Berlioz? If we're going to Paris ourselves, why don't youjoin us? Just back away from me. It's just, "Here we go, "folks. Everythingyou possess? Remember when I took you to Sea World? A talent agent is sitting in his office, Gottfried says. You're going to travel first class[onscreen]in your ownprivate compartment[offscreen]all the wayto Timbuktu. All thoselittle kittens of yours, Duchess. Kittens! So if you would be just so kind. Duchess: Oh, and I'mso very glad we didthis morning. George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. "Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar" took you beyond imagination. [Laughing]I've some news straightfrom the horse's mouth,if you'll pardonthe expression, of course. Don't be frightened. [The black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video and Pixar Animation Studios logos appear]. [onscreen]Tell him O'Malley sent youand you won't have a bit of trouble. Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. Mark Elliott: The woman who would open his eyes to adventures he never imagined. Not one single clue at all. We're just a pairof sentimental old fools. Mark Elliott: Coming this summer from Walt Disney Pictures. In its most-basic form, a family goes to see a talent agent, performs their actwhich is comprised of disgusting depravityand once they finish, You know, your country chateau? Berlioz: Yeah, man. Lafayette: [Chuckling nervously] Ow! Hey,Mr. O'Malley, how much farther is it? Napoleon: Right there, man. I havea cracker with me. Hop aboard the motorcycle. Suchan exciting day. Napoleon: Hush your mouth! His chin isvery weak too. Oh! Duchess: Thomas, Madamewill be so worried. Gilbert Gottfried: A lot of you are probably saying "Wait, wait, wait. Duchess: [Laughing]Oh, darling. But it is notquite Shakespeare. Title of infamous joke without a punchline. Marie: Oh! Duchess:[ Laughing ]They could hardly keep their eyes open. Criminiddly! And that! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: I've asked you to come hereona very importantlegal matter. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! Well, come along, darlings. Frou-Frou: Hurry, Roquefort. He sneaked upbehind me and tailgated me. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: So good to see you, Georges. It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. It's creme de la cremeala Edgar. Edgar was in it. [Grunting]. Will you hold on, please. Naturellement! In the South Park version, Cartman tells the other boys the joke his grandfather told him while at the school bus stop. WebThe joke itself is very simple. Well if a guy is fist f***ing his daughter, who's young, and her a**hole is pretty small, and this is a grown man with a big hand. O'Malley: Go away! I've had all the help I can take. They showaristocatic bearing. Georges Hautecourt: [ Laughing ]That bird cage? I think it's wrong I've done a lot of PSA's do NOT f*** your family. 1 Mar. Guard #1: (Tries to get back up, but Achilles sits on him) Woah! "Slip of the hand, dreamland.". But I'm a mouse! You guys wanna hear a funny joke my Grandpa told me? Napoleon:[offscreen]Hush your mouth. Ooh. The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. Get those twoweb-footed life guards outta here, okay?! I wouldlike to see your pad,and meet your friend Scat Cat. Berlioz: Look, guys! Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Berlioz: Thank you, Miss Frou-Frou,for letting me ride on your back. 4:04. Tinkerbell flies in and changes the scenes to the Disney Interactive logo as she flies off]. [Chuckling] Now this calls for another cracker. Roquefort:You're darn tootin'I'm on the level! [ Grunting ]Hey! Duchess: Now, now, darlings. But right now it's time we concerned ourselveswith self-improvement. I know it's Georges. Mark Elliott: The third and final chapter of the emotional trilogy. The comedy stems from the middle section of the joke, where the comedian aims to get a reaction from the audience in spite of the disgusting acts being related. You know, they make the morningradiant and light. Stop! It probes the darkest, sickest places of the That's four times twelve. This article is about the offensive joke known as "The Aristocrats". "And basted in[ Sniffles ]white wine." Roquefort: [Yawns]So, that'sCreme de la cremeala Edgar. Uncle Waldo: [Mumbling,Sighing &Hiccupping]. My own penthouse pad. [Reading]"Prime Country Goose a la Provencal. " There's no legal system at all in play in a joke. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We're on holiday. [ Singing ]Everybody's pickin' upon that feline beat'Cause everything else is obsolete, O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes youwish you weren't born, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Every time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a squarein the actYou can setmusic back, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]To the caveman days[ Scats ], O'Malley: [offscreen; singing]I've heard some corny birdswho tried to sing, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Still the cat's the only catwho knows how to swing, Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ]Who wants to dig a long-hairedgig and stufflike that, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]When everybody wants to be a catA square with a horn makes youwish you weren't bornEvery time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]With a square in the actyou can set music backTo the caveman days, Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky, Trio: [ Singing ]Yes, everybody wants to be a catEverybody wants to be a catBecause a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's atWhen playin' jazzhe always has a welcome mat'Cause everybodydigs a swingin' cat. Marie:[offscreen]Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey! Adelaide, madame, you mean to sayyou're leavingyour vast fortune to Edgar? Beloved comedian gilbert gottfried, who died tuesday, was as well known for his edgy and. Duchess: Oh, ho, ho,you are charming! Alright? Madame isexpecting you, sir. Roquefort: Oh, it's a sad dayfor all of us. Web- The "Aristocrats." Girls! Kyle?! Now you closeyour eyesand crossyour heart. I am really in a great deal of trouble. Scat Cat:Come on, cats! Say "cheese. I-l mean-- Well,I don't mean to interrupt. And we were all ridingand bouncing along--. Where--And somebody stolemy bumber shoot! Waldo's our uncle. But that's a whole other story. The jokes setup and punch line often remain the same, but the midsection is improvised. And he says, "The Osbournes.". Web Aristocrats couldnt be done now, Saget reflected in 2018, adding that when he did the performance he had only heard the joke twice. Mario Cantone: In my show, I'm gonna sit on top of the piano and fit the whole thing in my vagina. It's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg. Ooh. Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. Which pets possessthe longest pedigree? We need a man around the house. Roquefort: Duchess, kittens, gone? Napoleon: Wha-Wha--What's goin' on? Get her! Lafayette:Well, c'est la guerre,Napoleon. That's good. And that's the act. Oh. [Squeaking][Clattering] Oh! We shall fly to Parison a magic carpet,side by side. All aboard for Paris! He's our oldest anddearest friend, you know. Duchess: Oh. Don't worry. Thank you all. Abigail: And you, dear,you take this place. Roquefort:It's notreally hard, Berlioz. Which pets are blessed withthe fairest forms and faces? [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. [offscreen]I've learned to live with 'em. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, come now, Georges. I'mRoquefort by the way, I need your help,Duchess! Come on. [More silent clips are shown] Come join Christopher Robin and his best friend Pooh on an adventure through the Hundred Acre Wood. Elizabeth blair explores the dark world of comedy. "The "Aristocrats. Uhoh, yes. [Hugo keeps spitting as Victor now comes to life]. Hello, kittens. I do believeyou've been drinking. Ooh! The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. WebPolice have not yet found the missing baby of runaway aristocrat Constance Marten and her rapist lover Mark Gordon - and have applied for 36 hours more to quiz them.. Then, presto! 4:39. Because no one is gonna book this show! After it! Edgar Balthazar: Morning, Frou-Frou,my pretty steed. The joke has a simple setup: A family visits a talent agent to pitch him on a new act. Comics Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette are in the fall-over-laughing camp. Why, I'll, I'll eatmy hat if they-- My hat! He bit my finger! Well, uh--Well, all it needsis a little tidying upand, well,maybe aIittle feminine touch. Web295K views, 1.9K likes, 423 loves, 1.2K comments, 1.4K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Brandon Rogers: THE ARISTOCRATS JOKE Aristocats[ Singing ln French ]. Duchess: [offscreen] It's time to practiceyour scales and your arpeggios. Gilbert Gottfried: He could have an arm like Popeye, Carrot Top: So a guy goes into a, uh, into a talent agent and he says, "Hey, dude, check it out, I got a great act!" Berlioz: [Yelps, Needle Scratching,Music Slows]. SUBTITULOS ESPAOL I'll be spitting feathers for a week. They get the- towait. O'Malley: "Basted"? Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughs]Oh, Georges! Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? Napoleon: Hush your mouth, you idiot. Where are you? [Grunting]Lafayette! Duchess Oh, how nice. The family jumps. O'Malley: Well, of course. Duches: [offscreen]Berlioz, now don't be rude. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. Go! Title of infamous joke without a punchline. The aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Very good. Georges Hautecourt: [voice] Edgar you say? Lafayette: He's back on the moter-thingy. It's just, "Here we go folks.". Hugo: Way to go, lover boy! After the performance, the talent agent asks them just what the hell their act was supposed to be, to which they respond, "The Aristocrats!" [ Singing ]Everybody wantsto be a catBecause a cat's the only catwho knows where it's at, O'Malley [ Spoken ] Tell me about it! Edgar Balthazar: Of course, Madame. WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. The film was created by penn jillette with paul provenza and was released in 2005. Waving a scythe, Edgar chases O'Malley up a ladder. [after Wendy Liebman describes a normal family act]. [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. [ Laughing ]. I can walk into NBC tomorrow and say I have a dysfunctional family idea. You've got it! O'Malley:Hey! Swimming, some of the way. Duchess:[offscreen]And, wham, when weneeded you, you were right there. Berlioz:[offscreen]He's sure glad to see us. Berlioz: I'm coming, Mama. It's a totally different show. Frou-Frou: [ Chuckles ]You're quite welcome, young man. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Toulouse: I'm a tough alley cat too. Are you all right? An amazing three-dimensional adventure. Brian Cummings: Plus singing and swinging with the frogs. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Of course, Frou-Frou,I almost forgot. Isn't she, Duchess? Ah, Georges. Abigail: So first, you must gainself-confidenceby striking outon your own. Pretty soon, all of them are completely naked including the dog, who takes his leash off.. Edgar! WebThe Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Ooh, ooh, ooh! Abigail: Mr. O'Malley, I think youshould be the rear end. John Leader: He created a motion picture based on a story that held a special place in his heart. Let's play train. [Quasimodo splashes water on his face as the screen brightens]. Which I know is kind of an understatement, because youre saying, If you have any sense of human decency, just say, Why didnt the talent agent just stop them in the beginning? Oh, no. Amelia: Oh, yes, I thinkwe'd better be going. Someday they're all goingto be yours, you sly old fox. We meanfar more to her than that. For other uses, see, "Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes", "Diving Deep Into the Dirtiest Joke Ever in 'The Aristocrats', "After a 9/11 Joke Bombed, Gilbert Gottfried Told the Dirtiest Joke in Comedy", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Aristocrats&oldid=1135068379, Short description is different from Wikidata, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 22 January 2023, at 12:47. Napoleon: It's squeaky shoesapproachin', man. O'Malley: [Gasping]Alrighty, whatever. Roquefort:Hey, wait for me! O'Malley: How tough! "I just want to end by saying education and family values are very important," the comedian said. And each cat has nine lives. That seems to make the whole joke. Lafayette: I'll see ya in the morning,Napoleon. That's onlya little frog, my love. A slip of the handand it's off to dreamland. Napoleon: They're black--How would I know that? I almost fell. Yes! All right. WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. It says here. Jon Stewart: Just the other day I was eating my own sh*t. Jon Ross: And then, the denouement the butt f***ing. Lafayette: [offscreen;chuckling]This time, I get the tender part. And the talent agent says, "Sorry, we don't sign family acts. Mac:[offscreen]Yup, and she goesall the way to Timbuktu. [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[Humming]. Helpingbeautiful dame--uh, damsels in distressis my specialty. Come along for rapping and roaring with some furry bears. I-- I couldnever leave her. It's about that big Bob Saget: I believe that's Shandling's joke. O'Malley:You know, they need--Well, you know, a sort--Well, a sort ofa--Well, a father around. I'm the only cat of my kind. The real joke is, it's not a WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. I-l mean, eat--Eat well, of course. O'Malley: [Gasping] Help? Duchess: Especially whenhe's marinated! Uh, Iwassent here for help by a cat. That's 'causeI practice all the time. I've never seen you three here before. It's from Carmen,isn't it? [offscreen]Hey! And the talent agent says, What do you call yourselves? And the father sticks his chest out and goes, The Aristocrats. [The movie logo appears one last time] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". O'Malley: Keep your head up, Marie! And your music is so--so different,so exciting. (offscreen)Four. Edgar Balthazar: Alright: The coast is clear. The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time Duchess:Very good, darling. Live all the adventure of the movie and more. They're back! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing]Now, Georges, do you must be serious. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Duchess: Oh, c'est tres jolie,monsieur. We just have togo home tomorrow. Edgar throws the pitchfork at him, hitting him against the wall. Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. Duchess: [Laughs]"Old picklepuss who"? We're geese. A family walks in to a talent agency. Uncle Waldo: Why,I say there, now. (outloud)Of course you can. Billy Boss: So? They're Oxford shoes. Cats:Everybody, everybodyEverybody wantsto be a cat, Berlioz: [ Sighing ]Everybody wantsto be a cat, Marie: Because a cat'sthe only catWho knowswhere it's at. Duchess:Oh, no, no. Berlioz:Hooray, we're home! Amelia: Yes, that's a question. Oh, they'll need help. It was my favorite role. Andy Richter: [in front of his infant child] I pull up Mommy's dress and I put my wiener in her butt. Edgar Balthazar: The police say it wasa professional, masterful job. (2x) Oh, Marie, are you all right? The Aristocrats is a fascinating essay on the nature of stand-up. "Roquefort". Berlioz: Andyou said we're gonnaride on your magic carpet. Sounds like a gangof swinging hep cats. From the theater.to your living room. Frogs: [singing] Needeep, croak, ribbit, croak, needeep. I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House". Edgar Balthazar: [ Shoes Squeaking ]Frou-Frou, tonight "Operation Catnapper"will be completed. Uncle Waldo: Whoopee! Hold on! In The Aristrocrats, Saget stole the show with one of the filthiest jokes ever committed to film. O'Malley:Maybe just a short, sweetgoodbye would be easiest. Edgar opens the door. Mm, ooh, oh, heh. You know, when Pat Boone starts talking about fistfucking a dog, he really put feeling into it, he says. I'm afraid it was justthe imagination of an old lady. Now, this isno time for fun and games. Mark Elliott: But a band of notorious thieves. Oh, that's thatfamous restaurant. And I always throw in that. When they're seen upon an airing. O'Malley:[offscreen]All right. Duchess: Thomas, this is Ameliaand Abigail Gabble. Ahh! Napoleon: Wait a minute. Woody: Alright. It falls over, shrieking. Hmm? Doug stanhope's variation of the aristocrats joke. Look, pal, [offscreen]you go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats. [ Laughing ]That always makes melaugh, sir. Toulouse: Frogs? Here I come! The shift in editing over to pages for the movies, characters, actors, directors, composers, crew and galleries is now fully in effect. Mangy tramps! Hugo: [Spits the straw and feathers out of its mouth] Man! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:[Madame]Of course we will. But, anyway, he says, "What is it called?" - The "Aristocrats." O'Malley: Duchess and kittens in trouble? [Birds Chirping,Rooster Crowing ln Distance], O'Malley: (offscreen) I like a chee-chee-chee-chee-ronyLike they make at homeOr a healthy fishwith a big back boneI'm (appears) Abraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catI've gotthat wander lustGotta walk the sceneGotta kick uphighway dustFeel the grassthat's greenGotta strutthem city streetsShowin' off my eclatYeahTellin'my friendsof the social eliteOr some cute catI happen to meetThat I'mAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malley the alley cat. [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. It's like a hemorrhaging sh*t-ass. It's warmand, mm-mm, cozy. Duchess: Oh, I'm delightedto meet you, Monsieur Scat Cat. Oh! This little guy's on the level. I like Uncle Waldo. [offscreen]Any womanwould like it. I only wish that l--. Mysterious Cat-napperAbducts Family of Cats." Mark Elliott: With it's all-new 37th animated motion picture! Amelia: You will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth. Oh, what a horrible,horrible human! I'm gonna call it The Aristocrats. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Now, my pets,a little closer together. [2] When told to audiences who know the punch line, the joke's humor depends on the described outrageousness of the family act.[3][4]. WhyEdgar? O'Malley: Of course not. Please,you must stop that. Duchess: Oh, I'll be so gladwhen we get back home. Hamm: Hey, heads up, everybody. It's like Curly in the Stooges. I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. I'll saywhen it's the end. (2x). That guy's dynamite. Ooh. Lafayette: Hey, Napoleon! Two cats throw a harness from the hay loft, encircling him. Just we two. Duchess: Oh, I'm so sorry, but,well, we just couldn't. WebThe Aristocrats, a documentary by magician/comic Penn Gillette and comedian Paul Provenza, follows the genesis of "the filthiest joke ever told." The Magic Oracle: Follow the trail of the Forty Thieves. ". The scene is stomach-churning, and thats the point. Let's rock the joint! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Will. [offscreen]Toulouse? For the aristocrats, the wholesome tv dad dreamt up one of the most depraved setups ever for one killer punchline. Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. [ Grunting ]Go away! ", T. Sean Shannon: "Well, you can't say that.". Hold on, Kyle. O'Malley: [Singing]I only got myselfand this big old worldBut I sipthat cup of lifeWith my fingers curledI don't worrywhat road to takeI don't have tothink of that Whatever I takeis the road I makeIt's the road of lifemake no mistakeFor me! Duchess:[offscreen]Berlioz, shh! Marie: And are we reallygonna ride on it? Andy Richter: And all the stuff shoots on her face. Duchess: Say, what brings you two here? [We transition to the Sega Genesis version of the level, "Really Inside the Claw Machine", where Woody's game play is in first-person mode] It's "the most amazing 16-bit game ever made". Fine. O'Malley: All right, step lively! Brian Cummings: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Scram! Then he rips off her underwear and he takes some of her pubes with it. Which pets are knownto never show their claws? I'll take careof you later. [Clears Throat,Muttering]Aha. Genie: [sings] They're eventually getting married! Roquefort:[ Panting ] Mr.O'Malley, I've heard your name. O'Malley: Show you the way? Duchess:Berlioz, come back here. Judy Gold: People can get up on stage if they want to, you know, finger my niece or touch my nephew's penis. [Screaming]Yeow! Duchess: Oh, Thomas, that was really brave of you. [Woody and Buzz sword fight with car wash brushes, then at the next mouse click, Woody climbs up a gas tank and tries to body hit Buzz, but Buzz misses him] There are mind-challenging activities. Let'sget back into the basket, all of us! Kittens? The Aristocats! Mm. Hey, hold up there. Take that! Pat Cooper: My grandmother, on the stage, has an abortion! Toulouse: Why didn't I answer? because in a joke that's what happens. Lafayette:Oh, but Napoleon, we done bitsix tires today. 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