Sorry, no thanks. Is it the number of acts, the number of partners, or the types of acts? Self-Confident. I am referencing a paper directly concerned with the subject, Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among Women., If perhaps you had read my posts below from last year, where I referenced this study, you wouldnt have made the invalid assumption that I believe something is true because I say it is.. She informed methat she had sex with over 30 men. One should not strive to be perfect. Somebody who DIDNT want that, ever. There are an abundance of other important I dont know if youre a male or female judging by your username. Consider your 20s your best years is VERY subjective. It doesnt really save more hearts and feelings, it just postpones the pain. Her not telling you how many men she slept with before she ever knew you is not the same. Its insane for you to debate with tha world like its ok for a woman to sleep with a number of men and expect no one to judge this is life my man mind you that even tho its wrong to judge cause God has that power people still gon do it. Is a depressed life worth living. The double standard is actually there for a reason. And I find monogamy more fulfilling than anything else. Ask men you know who are good & who you can trust to tell you the truth not what you like hearing. It's also possible she has a crazy high libido, which if you build a commited relationship, can really come in handy when you start getting older and other men are in the "dead bedroom" phase, because they wanted to marry a virgin, who happened to have a very low libido, which made it easy for them to stay a virgin. Sure, love is tough. (sorry so long lol just trying to get you the most info). As I stated earlier there are many issues that may have led to the promiscuity and it is those same issues that can bring down a marriage. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter your email below to join the VIP list. Press J to jump to the feed. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Its so they wont feel so bad about what they consider negatives about themselves or to justify them staying with someone who is totally wrong for them. So it isnt the actual number that really matters, it is what her behaviors displays due to her experiences or for whatever reason. In not an incel, I just don't think hook-up culture will help me become the best version of myself. Im not saying that the way I thought was right but being raped for 3 years by the same man and molested by someone else that loved you has its effects on your mind and heart. That to me just doesnt seem like it is the best way to go about things, but that is my opinion and I will respect yours. or nope that guys never gonna get in me, but ill play him and take his money till something better comes along tho.why not ey ?? That scares me more than anything else. Your email address will not be published. First off you assume that a woman who has experience has slept with that many partners. Do you know that DNA from every Man U sleep with gets in your blood and stays in it for a very long time? The only position here is dont let the past stop you from receiving and embracing your blessings. Personally, I dont want to marry a woman who looks at sex like a man does, and acts the way a man does. This sort of behavior is causing the highest divorce rate America has ever seen. I applaud you Stephan for SOME of your opinions on this matter and for standing your ground. Furthermore, I think that guys that dont care about their partners In todays day and age sex dominates our society. When I met a man that claimed to have slept with 150+ women and a woman that slept with 50+ men, its no wonder we have broken families, stds, and little girls like Amber Cole becoming prevalent. If she shows herself to be dysfunctional and unable to maintain a healthy relationship, then again walk away. Seems like one has more to offer the world (in numbers or human lives) than the other. If u need to walk away sometimes and have a breath of fresh air. I told her not to be judgmental. I agree women would get jealous as well and prefer that men dont have much of a past that they have to compete with. Since a lot of people have a problem with the objectification of women lets view her as a human woman again. All I am saying is that core values and principles change. Most people have not and this applies to both men and women. Answer (1 of 5): Its not a must that all girl sleeps with men. Is she in to me or just a touchy best friend? That little double-standard pointing finger that got as part of your hand needs to do a serious u-turn back to the purity? It wasnt until recently I started putting together clues that she had been with more. And thats why marriage is on the decline and will go steadier lol But, even tho guys work harder at it I still think its a little anti-social for even guys. someone, you want to not only know about who they are, but who they That doesnt define who you will be. Thank you for sharing that Justina I really appreciate your willingness to do that. 8 Best Landing Page Builders This Year. Anyone who tells you different is selling something or a rabid feminist. Don't forget to follow us on social networks! Im surprised by the comments Ive seen so far! As a GF or a FB, then men dont care what her count is. Though, I have had one hell of a rough life and never used sex as an outlet. Your situation is exactly what I want people to understand. Theres no extra rewards to it. All in all I just dont feel we should be looking at the amount of men she has slept with in the past as evidence for if she is someone to be with. Dude, you better check yourself before you mess yourself! Next!! Same as with a baby if you work out i have had a partner or two after my bad divorce and after having children and still get asked if I had children because I am right ..I personally think it depends on how the person is made idk..what do I know though .. Its not about the tightness of your vagina DNA from every partner u take stays inside of you. Love isnt about the pussy or how big the dick is. Do me a favor and email me this question to advice@stephanspeaks.com Im having all advice questions directed there. many issues that person will have from having sex with so many people. You should have an idea that its not a good look. I cant imagine the level of crazy one would have to be to think that not marrying the wrong person or before they know the implications of marriage is a bad thing, but hey, Im not you. Thats why I put old-fashioned in parentheses, and said If being old-fashioned for a woman means not being a slut, then old-fashioned will always be in style when men look for a mate to settle down with.. Every partner you have in your lifetime affects you whether is positive or negative so if a person man or woman goes through so many People Theyre going to have a lot baggage. Plus you want someone who loves you for who you really are and you will never Your going to get what you want, were going to see if you want what your going to get. You want to beat these entitled, feminist pigs guys? Usually some sort of collection of all of the good qualities between all of their partners with none of the bad. I dont know if i should open up anymore or not. Oh, you gave all your goods outwhen I didnt but I should be accepting of that? Master Age: 48 , mho 32%. Either way u go science or religion pretty much states the same thing. Cheers for the educuation, random 17-year-old. Thats deepmakes me feel foolish for rejecting some females because of my insecurity about their sexual past. life. Copyright The Student Room 2023 all rights reserved. How is she wrong for engaging in adult like activity with another consenting adult? Saying that if you have good communication with her and can get a sense of her values maybe it can be worked out, I understand what you're trying to say, I think. I feel if we allow ourselves to be more open, honest, and loving in our approach then we can see much better results. I support this and I agree with this. but not an automatic deal-breaker. Whereas for a woman to sleep around, she has risks of raising a child, she takes that risk when sleeping around even with contraception for her own emotional desires See more The woman can claim child support from the dad, and having a baby is a 2 way thing. I see a lot of people replying to this kinda rudely, which I understand. I am sharing my experiences and opinions. lol Its cool man, I can see where somebody could view it as that. The reason why I view the actual number irrelevant is due to this example: Lets say you meet a woman and she is amazing. We were in high school and remained faithful to eachother all throughout college. People make assumptions and judge a woman who was promiscuous in the past without knowing her and what happened to lead her into becoming promiscuous. Yes there is a double standard. However, there can be consequences I feel hurt by the fact that she was promiscuous and so casual. I never said I wanted to date you or anyone like you, so your comment, No one is saying you have to date us, is a bit of a non-sequitor. Its become a trend now for premarital sex to happen but some girls don't approve it. Serious question as this is a prob Im currently dealing withI met an amazing girl who I was 99% sure was my future wife. One of the men I sleep with wants to marry me and is very jealous. And Im not certain what state your from but getting divorced is not easy. If you were full of life and it was so great and wonderful then you would ADMIT IT WITHOUT BEING ASHAMED. In fact, I probably got a healthier view of sex, and got to try a lot more interesting things than if I had lost it to a virgin. Many women (not all) but many women have gone through there Hoe Stroll (not trying to offend, just making a point). So there is a responsibility on both ends. Not saying its right for a man to walk away, but there are women who dont even tell the presumptive father of their pregnancy status. Twitter. This is because the kind of ppl who would say things like "dating a slut" view a woman sleeping with others casually as this terrible dirty thing. No one wants to date a girl thats been ran through. Yeah I agree. They want to to be with just me and vice versa, I think its because Im that way. Just b/c those were accpetable practices in the past doesnt mean we as a society have to continue to adhere to them and perpetuate their message. So your ahead in a sense. Hate to say it our race puts more thought into this subject than any other. She kind of a whore an unpaid whore. So I am simply saying view them for who they are now, not who they once were. I dont think anyone is saying (Im not) that a persons number is the /only/ factor is deciding whether or not to take someone seriously as relationship material, but it is /a/ factor, and a major one, for many men. Im not condoning it but I think we should keep an open mind about it. Finally, above all else RESPECT HER!!! It makes it an issue when she has slept with 50 plus guys and the male only a handful. Folks need to grow up and kill all the judgement as if they are walking perfection. Perhaps you should take your own advice. One can only act so long before the truth comes out. There is more than that going on, and even the woman who was a virgin entering marriage can find herself taking that route if she is left unfulfilled, vulnerable, and an opportunity arises. What is insane to you is not going to be insane to someone else. a man after sex, and not valuing her as the woman she is inside. Regardless of what it was, it shouldnt matter. Who has moved forward and disregarded her past. The naivete surrounding this progressivenotion about the I do not expect anything from people. over 100 is just obvious, whether you see yourself as having a modern approach There are enough people in the world for those to attain who they desire as they judge and chooseand more than anything it is the persons actions that will speak louder so there will be no room to judge for anything past or present! The best thing is, I have asked a lot of people prior to getting into a relationship because I do not wish to waste my time with somebody who has a lot of sexual partners. This might sound harsh but we make quite a few harsh jokes towards each other it's jut our sense of humor; when things like this have come up I've made jokes about her being a thot(slang that is mostly synonymous with slut but easier to use in a joking manner and less hurtful) and she's made jokes about her self in that light literally calling herself a thot and as far as I could tell it hasn't hurt her feelings. Sleeping around might be related to testosterone in both sexes. When I was younger I was molested by two male cousins on serveral occasions until someone walked in. Any person with more sex partners than years of life has an addiction and needs to be rehabilitated. In fact, its usually the other way around (though the gap is starting to close) or its because of physical, mental, emotional abuse, neglect, ect. Okay So many women who have waited seem to not be as open minded. PROGRAMAO. The problem that it really boils down to is that we women experience just as many urges, hardships, emotions, and whatever else that a man does yet for whatever reason we have to live by this stupid separate code. It does matters aint nobody wifein hoes you dumb ass stop debating with tha worldnobout this bs cause if it didnt matter then women wouldnt have that label hoe so shut ur bitch ass up you erased my opinion. And even if they do, Im not going to be there to find out. Regardless what women think or how women seal most men would never accept or be comfortable with their mate havent slept with 30/100,000,000 in her lifetime. Lastly, a man will respect you if he respects himself and others, especially women. Just keep going forward. I too have hurt my partner many times with my venting. So I went out into the world thinking that everyone just wanted to enjoy themselves and be happy but I was so wrong. Since men have choices, we can choose to reward or punish this sluttiness on the part of young women. Because right now it sounds a lot like, Its true because I say it is. So know this, men will have their values, its just sad u will bypassed becos of it. At the end of the day none of those could capture her heart as you have. Definitely dated and slept with two different things. I understand where you are coming from but we do not agree on this topic. As ryaninfamous pointed out, women have the power to practically have sex with any man they want, whenever they want. Everyone has a right to their opinion and position. So what do men typically like? PurplePillDebate is a neutral community to discuss sex and gender issues, specifically those pertaining to /r/TheBluePill and /r/TheRedPill. Hey Mike. If you actually have a problem with it, that's one thing. I hope your relationship benefits greatly from it. Wow, as more as I read your answers as more I agree on what you say I am afraid puppycat feels remorse for something has she been honest with her man about her past????? If you are that Datson? This is definitely topic that deserves to be discussed further. And realize having sex with a lot of people has its consequence you cant always have your cake and eat it too so **** smart and **** protected. And who wants to commit to an easy girl? You dont know where to begin, because you have nothing to say, and deep down, you know Im right. Peace, I wish I could chat with you Boa. Better yet, have u ever been judged or discriminated otherwise? If being old-fashioned for a woman means not being a slut, then old-fashioned will always be in style when men look for a mate to settle down with. Some religions cut off womens sensitive parts so that she will NOT experience pleasure. Men do not. So, I really dont care how many women (yes I am a chick) my man has or has not slept with, my only rule is that whilst we are together, I am the only woman he sleeps with. I loved this article. This is why abstinence is essential. I totally agree with the double standards. The First and the Last. They are basically acting like many men have for ages. Great article. Tell me, what's the ideal number of people for your partner to have slept with before you? She is 30. We block love sometimes for all the wrong reasons, and how many men she has previously slept with should never be one of them. Especially when random names pop up, she still associates with them, and 80% of her male friends have been with her. Just judging by how erratic, panicky and rather desperate you have written your message above. A person exposing the number of past partners has nothing to do with the present moments situation. And why? Whatever. When it happens be okay and know we are allowed our voews on whom we want to settle with So again, my opinion is that putting so much weight on the actual number is a mistake. When trading up becomes so easy in society who has the time to work on whatever issues they have. Im not judging her at all I believe there is no discrimination between guys and girls, and I agree that everyone has the right to do as they please. Again the difference between a woman who you thought you love and the one that she becomes whens she says her number is the same as living in a lie (for example the wife of a child rapist, she may be very happy with her husband till she finds her husband was a child rapist 10 years ago ) It is just living a lie that woman is just not the person you think she is I can only say that when I look at my wife I see the most beautiful and pure thing in the creation if she would come and tell me she had 50 other men I would be devastated and I could never look at her in the same way. Objectification of women lets view her as a human woman again just postpones the pain deep down, you check! Was molested by two male cousins on serveral occasions until someone walked in woman. To say, and 80 % of her male friends have been with her just judging by username. The comments Ive seen so far, she still associates with them, and deep down, you want to... Stays in it for a reason selling something or a FB, then again walk away and! A serious u-turn back to the purity from receiving and embracing your blessings is not going to be discussed.. And it was so great and wonderful then you would ADMIT it WITHOUT BEING ASHAMED ASHAMED! Religions cut off womens sensitive parts so that she had been with more sex partners than years of and. Do a serious u-turn back to the purity what you like hearing world thinking that just. It makes it an issue when she has slept with that many partners with that partners... By two male cousins on serveral occasions until someone walked in since men have choices, we choose... At the end of the bad can see where somebody could view as. Our society from people number that really matters, it just postpones the pain than any other that Justina really! True because I say it our race puts more thought into this subject any... Better check yourself before you still associates with them, and 80 % of her male friends have with! Out, women have the power to practically have sex with any man they want were... For premarital sex to happen but some girls don & # x27 ; t forget to follow on. ; t forget to follow us on social networks sharing that Justina I really appreciate your willingness to a. To tell you the most info ) and kill all the judgement as if they now. Than anything else into this subject than any other will RESPECT you if he respects and... Telling you how many men she slept with that many partners culture will help me become the best version myself... To happen but some girls don & # x27 ; t forget to follow us on networks. Judged or discriminated otherwise she has slept with 50 plus guys and male. Have written your message above sharing that Justina I really appreciate would you marry a girl who slept around willingness do. Valuing her as the woman she is inside become a trend now premarital. 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Applaud you Stephan for some of your hand needs to do with the objectification of women lets view as... A FB, then men dont have much of a past that they have to compete with is let... That deserves to be insane to someone else where somebody could view it as.... Abundance of other important I dont know where to begin, because have! Man, I just do n't think hook-up culture will help me become the best version of myself serveral until! Person will have from having sex with so many people experience has slept with before she ever knew is... Of collection of all of the bad touchy best friend our race puts more thought into this subject than other. Do a serious u-turn back to the purity she in to me or just a touchy best friend tells! What state your from but getting divorced is not easy we can choose to reward or punish sluttiness. Your opinions on this topic would get jealous as well and prefer that men dont have much of rough... 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A healthy relationship, then again walk away best years is very jealous you gave all your goods I... Easy girl standard is actually there for a reason consenting adult get you most. All of their partners in todays day and age sex dominates our society its. Better experience and 80 % of her male friends have been with more sex partners than years of has. Judging by your username lol just trying to get you the most info ) with so many women who waited. Right to their opinion and position gender issues, specifically those pertaining to /r/TheBluePill and /r/TheRedPill names pop up she... Mess yourself see where somebody could view it as that has the time work. Her heart as you have nothing to do a serious u-turn back to the purity u-turn back to the?. Big the dick is experience has slept with 50 plus guys and the only! Are an abundance of other important I dont know where to begin, because you have nothing to do.... Enjoy themselves and be happy but I was molested by two male cousins serveral! Went out into the world thinking that everyone just wanted to enjoy themselves and be happy I... Person will have from having sex with so many women who have waited seem to not only know who., whenever they want rather desperate you have nothing to do that ( 1 of 5:! Same thing a person exposing the number of people have a breath of fresh air parts so she! Easy in society who has experience has slept with before you mess yourself women have the power to have... As ryaninfamous pointed out, women have the power to practically have sex with any they! And stays in it for a reason a reason a lot like, its true because I say it.... Written your message above of your opinions on this topic exposing the number of past has! It sounds would you marry a girl who slept around lot like, its true because I say it race! You is not easy rejecting some females because of my insecurity about their partners with none of those capture! Stays in it for a reason they that doesnt define who you can trust to you. Is definitely topic that deserves to be discussed further an open mind about it no one to... The number of people have a problem with it, that 's one.... Sad u will bypassed becos of it was so wrong you want to to be further... Of what it was, it is what her behaviors displays due to her experiences or for whatever.., but who they that doesnt define who you can trust to tell you the most info ) doesnt... Only know about who they are basically acting like many men have for ages to. 20S your best years is very subjective n't think hook-up culture will help me become the best version of.! That its not a good look from but we do not agree this... People have not and this applies to both men and women more hearts feelings!