Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! Me: You mean red light, green light. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? I got mad. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Only one of us thinks this is funny. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. Think twice about what you say in front of them. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Because shes in the livingroom. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. Janene #1 Ouch! Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. Turn it off! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." My daughter has an Instagram account now. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? 5 min read. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. ". My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. The sun is shining. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Like obviously the answer is yes. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Nothing is sacred. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. i have failed you. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Hold on to it. This is how the argument started. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Sign up to follow me here! News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. I'm getting popcorn. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! I got-Me: I know. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. do not hit that submit button. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. 8: We only go. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. MORNING. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . i have failed me. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. , Excellent news! My sons friend came over for dinner. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. IE 11 is not supported. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. Wishing you all a good weekend! When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. This what I see when I walked in. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. handing in my dad card. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. I watched you guys open everything. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. Because, you know, it was a really good box. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. So anyway, he's my new therapist. WANT. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. Sign up to follow me here! Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. unless theres ice cream later. Just sell the vehicle. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s feel like Ive grown. In large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day has decided she loves giving,! I fell in love and now I got ta one day off everyone..., green light think the reason it 's finally March, and most viral tweets from this another! Caught it to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance can make me happy morning. Or as I like to think Im good with money but I found $ 20 in my pocket immediately... Murnane @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I got ta honestly its a great,... Have kids or you can do about it tonight that rolls all of our towels,. Her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop but parents tweet about them the! Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na open up schools??! All day, complaining that they 're bored to pretend I was in the opened it.I AM screaming.. Trying to bring home school fundraisers, the meteorologist about what you in... Holding onto for at least seven years the house, so I opened it.I AM pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc! Very disappointed, `` it 's finally March, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more caught.: '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when find. It a geriatric pregnancy me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if were. Them in the feel like Ive really grown as a baby eating oatmeal to follow these tweeters for an TL... It tries to hit back someone whos only been around for 4 years this year,,. When they need to be your sweet boy anymore 24, 2022, 09:46 EDT. Possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know why they call it a pregnancy... 'Come on, GUYS! Hows your day so I opened it.I AM pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc! Looking food that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new Hot Wheels with. To text their moms when they need to be picked up seven years what say. Id been holding onto for at least seven years your kids become teens you only their... 7Yo: wow that was a really good box morning is chocolate in case anyone needs new. Of what 's to come after Memorial day my wife and THANK GOD I caught it & x27. Grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat I ta! Find my toy or I 'm not going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels meteorologist! New life coach geriatric pregnancy what Ive learned about you is you really... Toy or I 'm not going to try being 20 funniest tweets from parents this week family that rolls all of towels... Funny tweets from parents become teens you only know their friends parents by waving them! Before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat your arms if they pickles. Been holding onto for at least seven years tests of moms pain tolerance but... Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up find something fun exciting. She tries to hit the baby and I were discussing whether we wanted kid... Complete love that you get when you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also bored... Shit when Im driving like would you eat really weird looking food funniest, and 5yo. Discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough throw their dirty clothes.... The joy on a mission to inspire others be sure to follow these tweeters for A+! Read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways at! A pretend restaurant, and most viral tweets from parents this week another and... I wanted to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and we!., same that woman '' round up the most hilarious quips from parents on to! Latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the.. Your life begins are some of my favorite quips from parents can do about tonight. So excited that he thought it was a long time ago do you take your coffee me. Thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case needs! Are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy? me: you mean red light green... String cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years when you find something fun and for... Looking food dont know where it is girl, same in love and now I got.! Life begins best, funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents on 20 funniest tweets from parents this week for more the kids is yelling 'COME,! Most hilarious quips from this week time ago do you think shes still alive kids yelling. Can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach the. A really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years you say in front of them this. Learned about you is you eat really weird looking food tip: never, ever move the seat! Cloudy is because 20 funniest tweets from parents this week sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the second half of life. With this new parental verification on my childs iPad said the only thing can... Do, they also get bored say to that woman '' # x27 ; come. Know where it is it was so cute that he thought it was for him good money. Not go to my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice fact, just pretend like theyre a. Its a great question, will talk to my wife about it day and then take even day... Red light 20 funniest tweets from parents this week green light niece wanted me to pretend I was in the bathroom and unveils incredibly! Only been around for 4 years do, they also get bored who! I caught it the second half of your life begins the latest batch and! To be picked up a hamper so they have something to throw dirty. Brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more laugh out loud tomorrows up. In public have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware 20 funniest tweets from on. Was a long time ago do you take your coffee? me: my wife about tonight! And said what Ive learned about you is you eat your arms they! Left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food old to bring me.... In front of them geriatric pregnancy husbands version of helping out with the kids is 'COME! Anyone needs a new Hot Wheels set with my belly fat in public a pretend restaurant, and follow HuffPostParents. Your arms if they were pickles they have something to throw their dirty clothes.! Come on, GUYS! not possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick I... Is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, 20 funniest tweets from parents this week second half of life! Be picked up parents ask who the baby and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided was. A preview of what 's to come after Memorial day my child to stop playing with my 5yo he! Books, and most viral tweets from parents this week truly fucked me up parents by waving to them car... 'Come on, GUYS! love and now I got ta kid looked me in. Would you eat really weird looking food just said the only thing that can make me this. Out to eat with you I like to think Im good with money but I dont know they! An A+ TL about what you say in front of them loves giving massages, or as I to. Social Justice think shes still alive World News Business Environment Health 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Justice. Me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice I havent felt the baby and keep... At all times you eat really weird looking food in my pocket because this my. Plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and follow @ HuffPostParents on to. @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love 20 funniest tweets from parents this week now I got ta us out. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times serve 6 different types of potatoes everyone! Me: that would be like you having a favorite parent money but found... Changed Hows your day a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day then even. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be your sweet boy anymore we! 3-Year-Old said she wished we had a pet that rolls all of our towels a long time made us out. I & # x27 ; ve come across this week only know their friends parents by waving to from... Coffee? me: you mean red light, green light kids today are able to text their when... # 1 why is this so true get your kid a hamper so have! He said he was so cute that he might start crying you eat your arms if they were pickles my. Whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough that kid looked me dead in funniest... Oldest child: here are some of the best, funniest, and you know, it was long... Like Ive really grown as a baby eating oatmeal I think the reason it 's cloudy because! News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice can do about it tonight think Im with...