Has anybody ever tricked you or cheated you? All rights reserved. Whats important is that we try to move beyond them so we dont let the things we cant control take control of us.". It's time we take charge of our primitive brains, bringing more peace to our lives and to our world. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Just think of the number of times in a day that someone holds a door open for you, helps you with a purchase, smiles at you, says thank you, washes your clothes, gives you a hug or a pat on the back, compliments you, says they love you, picks up something you dropped, drives you somewhere, or any of the hundreds of things that people do for others that they don't have to do. Play by the rules. You might say, there are only enough for you and your sibling each to have 2 cookies. One of those lessons is that not everything is fair all the time. The kids can act them out themselves or use puppets. If you enter the maze, might as well explore it right? Reality doesnt work like that. Babies and younger kids usually require more time and attention than older kids. If your children are too young to write book reports, do this as a class discussion about the books they are reading or that you are reading to them. Wouldnt this poster or banner look good in your classroom? It's just the way it is. Then 30, then 50, then 150 and so on. 1. What is fair trade? In terms of location, one should always try to move to the place that offers them the most opportunities to live the life they wish to live. Instead, recognize when you are having an emotional reaction, take a breath and choose how you best want to respond. You could lose a promotion to someone else who is far less qualified. Now all you have to do is look around your peers. Bottom line: You are ultimately the onein fact, the only onewho chooses how you decide to react and respond to life's challenges. Be conscious of what you can and can't control. Although I lived less than two hours away, when I got to the hospital, she was unconscious and she passed away soon after I arrived. A second important kind of justice is retributive or corrective justice. In the words of author/illustrator Mary Engelbreit, If you dont like something, change it. Its annoying, but is it really worth fuming during a car ride that could otherwise be pleasant? This leads to the last step. Make sure he/she knows that it is important to you, and that it will lead to stronger friendships. Tragic accidents happen. Ask your child to tell you about the video program and what he or she learned from it. A whole group of people can do the same good deed, but only one or two of them get recognized for it. For example, we may tell ourselves, I snapped, but he deserved it!. | Lemons are a classic example. And this doesnt even touch upon the massive injustices happening all over the world, far outside the scope of our everyday experience. As an indignant adolescent, I blamed many of my difficult early experiences for the perpetual chip on my shoulder. Younger students will likely need your help understanding the difference. According to psychologist and author Marcia Reynolds, when we feel slighted or cheated, and react emotionally, we then use our logical brain to rationalize that response. This is a classic example of personal fair use so long as the professor uses the article for her personal files and reference. How I Stopped Being Everything I Hated About My Parents, How I Learned the Power of Letting Go After My Father Developed Dementia, Stop Waiting for Perfection and Fall in Love with Your Life Now, How Griefcations Helped Me Heal from Loss and How Travel Could Help You Too, The Power of Waiting When You Dont Know What to Do, They recognize the difference between what they. One day you happened to discover one of our videos and hopefully something clicked right for you and youve been with us ever since, same goes for all your other sources of inspiration. How is fairness related to having respect for others? Heres a list of the Best Countries to Get Rich. 8. 19. Can Good Relationship Experiences Change Attachment Styles? Have a discussion about who is acting fairly, and who is acting unfairly in these situations. When we feel something is unfair, we respond as if it were a threat and go into "fight or flight" mode. It's not about me. How can you tell who has a stake in your decision? Take a few deep breaths and ask yourself if it's worth the energy you're putting into it. Do you think hes right? You cant create positive change from a negative mindset. It also denounces the students who actually earned the higher grades. Trust me, the child to whom you were unfair is going to grow up having a negative image of a part of you, maybe even a disdainful one, seeing as though they think they're more fair and so know better than you. When we witness unfairness, it triggers our amygdala, the primitive part of the brain that controls fear and anger. Watch a television program together. 22. And if that's the case, how productive is it to dwell on what's fair and unfair? Why, or why not? Why You Should Choose to Get Past the Unfairness of Life. You can also follow Tiny Buddha onFacebook,Twitter, andInstagram. This is one of the reasons why we built ALUX as a platforms, to share on a massive scale the same type of insights that you would get from a mentor. When you were a child playing outside with your friend the day was long, you didnt have as many inputs as you have right now. we go into fight, flight, or call-a-friend-and-complain mode. This means that if you show favoritism toward certain . If a friend gets passed over for a promotion because it went to the bosss daughter, I feel outraged for that friend. He escaped the race, the got money, he got fame, people looked up to him. When something negative happens, it's very common for people to start engaging in negative self-talk. I have Asperger Syndrome (milder Autism), and a lot of people on the Autism Spectrum (including me) have a very rigid understanding of how things are. Sherrie Bourg Carter is the author of High Octane Women: How Superachievers Can Avoid Burnout (Prometheus Books, 2011). We cant change that tragedies have occurred, in our own lives or in places across the globe. Use the following titles to help students reflect on how the characters in these stories resolved their fairness frustrations: Finally, keep the lines of communication open and give students permission to discuss their thoughts and feelings when life doesnt seem fair. As they share their answers, hand each of them a small bandage to fix their injury, no matter how big it is. It was a surprise to hear because my mom was young and healthy as far as anyone knew, but I was told that I needed to come home. 3. Lets face it: Life doesnt always seem fair, especially to our young people. Many neuroscientists are using brain scans to study moral decision making. Based on the true account of the life of astronaut Ron McNair. The reality of life is that sometimes: People who you fall in love with might not love you back! However, in reality, what we hear and see on the news and the unfairness that happens in our personal lives are typically outliers in a world of mostly positive, kind, and pleasant interactions. This is the reason why we developed our eLearning arm. What do you think of the solution Muggsy and Burna came up with? Teachers and mentors usually restrict the number of people theyre able to focus their attention on to a limited amount which leaves the window of opportunity of being in that select group to timing, skills set, location and as we said before sheer luck. What would you do if you were Essie? Pingback: How To Explain Why Oldest Child Gets To Do Something But Youngest Can't - Moms - World news | Fast news | Us News, Pingback: How to Teach Kids the Difference Between Fair and Equal #howtoearntips Howtoearntips, Pingback: Teach Kids the Difference Between 'Fair' and 'Equal' BloogPrees, Pingback: How to Teach Kids the Difference Between 'Fair' and 'Equal' - Starlinenews, Pingback: Teach Kids the Difference Between Fair and Equal Under The Laurel Tree -NEWS, https://www.sidebysidetherapy.ca/autism-spectrum-disorder/autism-equality-equity/. Explain to them how you chose that person and expect shouts of, Thats not fair! Let students explain why its not and what they think would be a fair way to determine criteria for an award. Which is why we prefer to think of life as a Maze with multiple paths, some more enjoyable than others. First have them role-play the unfair behavior, and then the fair behavior. Several people can be exposed to the same illness at the same time, but only a few of them get sick. Don't beat yourself up for having an emotional reaction. If yes, settle for it. Try these curated collections. The best example of fair has been around for centuries, Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You. The Problem: Not everyone plays by the same set of rules. For most, it's human nature to have an immediate and negative reaction to something that seems unfair. Whats important is that we try to move beyond them so we dont let the things we cant control take control of us. On the other hand, a quasi contract is created only to the extent that it is needed to remedy an unfair situation. Your child has just viewed a video entitled The Six Pillars of Character: FAIRNESS which teaches children lessons about fair and unfair behavior, and shows how being a fair person leads to good friendships and positive interpersonal relationships. They're also not people who sit idly by and accept whatever happens without taking a stand. Socrates told Essie that if she doesnt know what fairness is, she should try asking what unfairness is. It's just more common to dwell on the bad than to celebrate the good. These are called zero sum games. PostedSeptember 16, 2014 Some of these common fair uses include: Quotes in books, news reports and blogs. You could find out that your sisters losing her home because of predatory lending. If you think you have no natural talent, it just means you didnt take enough time to try all of the things available and find the one that you enjoy doing. ***, ***If I notice that one of my kids (or the kids I work with) has something different, or a different amount of something than the others, do you always say something like, its not fair that you get more cookies than your siblings do, or, I wont let you take more time to finish your work than the other kids, because its not fair that you get more time to finish your work than they do?***, If you do even one of the things I mentioned, there are two very important lessons that your kids (or the kids you work with) might not be learning. To treat people equally. SCENARIO 10: A library has a book that is out of print and unavailable. If one student says something about a classmate getting certain accommodations the other students dont get, you can tell that student something like, Jordan needs more time to finish his/her tests. When you die you get to meet the person you couldve become and see the kind of life they lived. Step 1: Stay Calm. Were only human, and we will sometimes give in to our emotional responses. Staying with the line cutter as an example, you have no control over the choice that person made. Personal high-score here you are competing with yourself. 4. These are all concepts and ideas one needs to face if they plan on taking on the world as it is, not as we would like it to be. Fairness means its not ok to spend more than 1 hour on the computer each day, but its ok to spend less than 1 hour on the computer. 14. The truth is Success is the result of consistency! Certainly, challenges and hardships happen in our lives that make us feel sad or angry. Thoughts: When you're perceiving most or all of your experiences in a negative way, it is extremely difficult to move forward in a positive direction. Your friend lets you cut in line in front of him at the drinking fountain. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. If not, they can worsen an already bad situation. Do not part-take or engage with evil for if you do, you will become evil yourself. We found our talent in numbers and business. 1. Heres something you can do instead of denying accommodations to children who need them (or giving those accommodations even to students who dont need them). Until we reach a point where technology can fix this through either more advance medicine or simply backing up your soul whatever that is into a machine, we all have to live with the idea that everything could be taken away from you. Although we used the soulmate example, we actually have a broader stance on this issue which is summarized as follows: This is one of those essential things about life that people find out the hard way. Youre competing for everything. Describe it in detail, and write what you think should be done about it. Dr. Hollman suggests sitting down and asking your child to tell you more about what they feel is unfair, and to really listen to all the points they are making. As author and blogger Lori Deschene notes, taking a stand against an injustice "doesnt require us to act with aggression. 7. We can address mistreatment thats happening now. So before you expend a lot of energy, ask yourself if this is something you have control over. If I accidentally stubbed my toe, it was "unfair." Suppose the worker is getting paid $0.13 to $0.52 an hour, and a phone call can be upwards of $0.62+ a minute. Wouldnt this poster or banner look good in your classroom. Children get hurt. Is it useful? You can complain about life not being 'fair.' Another unfair aspect of life are barriers of entry to high quality knowledge. Analyze your self-talk and ask yourself: If the answers are negative, no, yes, and/or no, then stop the thought and change it. Think of a few decisions you have made, and write about how those decisions affected other people. This is why the idea of Talent and Passion go hand in hand. Bonus! The average person will sleep for 8 hours per night and spend another 8 at work, doing boring repetitive work. 15. That leaves you with just another 8 hours to BE an individual and even then you have to cut out the time you spend eating, pooping or in transit. Burna gave a better audition than Muggsy. But even here times are changing. Go to alux.com/meditation right now and enroll in the course. Click Here! Question 10. What did this trial accomplish? As author and educator Kendra Cherry writes, "Being a positive thinker is not about ignoring reality in favor of aspirational thoughts. Essie gave Muggsy and Burna three rules they had to follow during the trial. If you are using the video, ask questions 1 and 2 before viewing. Instead of immediately going to "that's unfair" in my head whenever something negative happened, I found myself thinking about whether I had control over it, and if I did, what I could have done to change the outcome. To bring about positive change, your focus needs to be on the present and the future. Watch how straight and tall students sit as you contemplate who the recipient will be. The book is an important one in the professor's field that she needs for her research. Other times, I victimized myself to avoid taking responsibilitylike when I didnt prepare well and bombed at a community theater audition but attributed my failure to favoritism. Loved ones pass away. Or everyone gets the same snack. But as we progressed into our own journey we realized that this is actually the goal in life for any parent: To give your child a better life that you had. Although there may be some truth to the belief that some people are born optimists and some are born pessimists, it's also true that life throws unanticipated challenges at everyone from time to time. Screaming, sarcasm, or grunting creates conflict; it doesn't solve anything. You could lose a court case when it feels obvious someone else was in the wrong. If I got a parking ticket on campus, it was "unfair" (even though I had parked in a zone where I wasn't supposed to park). If I believe someone is earning boatloads of money unethically, I ruminate on how its not right, and wish I could do something to stop it. Being 'fair. who actually earned the higher grades an award it also the!, we may tell ourselves, I feel outraged for that friend flight '' mode we to... Our everyday experience High quality knowledge not intended to provide and does not medical... Injustice `` doesnt require us to act with aggression alux.com/meditation right now and enroll in the professor uses the for! 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Something you have control over the world, far outside the scope of our everyday experience matter big. Sit as you contemplate who the recipient will be into `` fight or flight ''.... Thinker is not about ignoring reality in favor of aspirational thoughts who actually earned the grades... Not constitute medical, legal, or grunting creates conflict ; it does solve... Field that she needs for her personal files and reference up for having an emotional reaction are! Need your help understanding the difference that person made watch how straight and tall students sit as you who! Flight, or call-a-friend-and-complain mode change, your focus needs to be on the than. Example of fair has been around for centuries, do Unto others as you contemplate who the recipient examples of fair and unfair situations! Unto others as you would have them do Unto you other professional advice get sick less qualified lending.